Where Drivers Are From
Last Update 01/18/07
CHICAGO One hand on wheel, one hand on horn.
NEW YORK One hand on wheel, middle finger out window.
NEW JERSEY One hand on wheel, middle finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic.
BOSTON One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator.
LOS ANGELES One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap.
From
MONTANA,
driving in
CALIFORNIA
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror.
ITALY Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat.
SEATTLE One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic.
TEXAS
City Male
One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator, and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window.
TEXAS
Country Male
One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road.
TEXAS
Female
One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment.
WYOMING Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, prairie dog tails attached to antenna.
FLORIDA Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above dashboard, driving 35 on the Interstate, in the left lane with the left blinker on.
ARKANSAS One hand on the wheel, the other on his sister.
WEST VIRGINIA Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna.
COLORADO Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car.
COLORADO
resident spotting a car with a Texas plate.
One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to litter.
LAS VEGAS Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel.
UTAH No hands on the wheel, driving with the knees, applying makeup, talking on cell phone, writing in journal, reading scriptures, 20 kids screaming in the back, 'Families are Forever' bumper sticker, flipping off your neighbor.



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